The Family Council: Step by Step Guide to Getting Started

Here are a few ideas that you can use to get started with your own Family Council.

We recognize that family structures vary, from single-parent households to families with multiple parents and guardians. The Family Council meeting can be applied to every situation and circumstance. Make sure you adjust according to your unique family culture.

1. Example Invite

Hi Dear Family,

Mom and Dad have decided to try something new and fun.

We want to have regular meetings where we all sit down to talk about what’s going on for everyone in the family so we can learn from each other. We can discuss everything from screen time to where we will go on holiday this winter.

We plan to have the first meeting on Saturday after breakfast when we are all home.

Love, Mom and Dad

2. Designing the Meeting

It’s essential that everyone feels included in the meeting, regardless of age and status in the family. The following are some things that can be brought up at each meeting. Ideally, everyone agrees to the following by raising their hand or saying “I agree.”

Agreements

Agreements are essential to any meeting as it reminds everyone that it’s not business as usual. It helps family members be open to feedback and creates a different environment than anywhere else. Repeat these agreements at every meeting.

• I promise to be open and honest.

• I promise to listen and not react.

• I promise not to use my power to shut anyone down. (Parents)

• I promise to give feedback in a kind and respectful way.

• I promise to receive feedback without reacting.

The Agenda

Allow anyone to add items to the agenda. In the beginning, the kids may not know what to add, but once they learn how the Family Council works, they will contribute to the agenda in the future.

Discuss who we are as a family

1. Our values

2. Our principles

3. Our rules

4. What’s missing?

5. Our challenges:

Challenges

• Our concerns for each other:

• What is great in our family?

• What do I want to change?

• What do I want more of from my parents?

Helpful agenda items

• The family calendar

• The month ahead

• The year ahead

• Travels and holidays

Next Meeting

Agree on the next meeting and what each person commits to. Don’t put too much emphasis on what each person should do because you don’t want it to feel like homework or chores. Rather, ask each person what they are taking away from the meeting and if there is anything they want to work on until the next meeting. Each family works differently, but it’s important to allow each person to find their own way with the meeting.

By having regular Family Council meetings, you can foster better communication, strengthen family bonds, and ensure everyone feels valued and heard. It’s a great opportunity to learn from each other and grow together as a family.